Steak and The Patriarchy
Eating meat (or not) as an act of social justice
As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s hard to ignore the way society bombards us with expectations around love, sex, and gender. Rather than encouraging people to value the many forms of unique loving relationships they might have, mainstream media rolls out the same tropes year after year: candlelight, heart-shaped candies, red roses, lingerie, and a steak dinner. According to the food and beverage research company CGA, steak was the top-selling menu item on Valentine’s Day in 2020, accounting for over 14% of total food sales on February 14th.
Why is steak the quintessential meal on this holiday of love? We wish we could tell you it’s because meat is an aphrodisiac (it’s not) or because people are trying to show local farmers how much they appreciate them (maybe someday!). Unfortunately, it’s more likely that we eat meat on holidays because of the deeply rooted belief that men prefer meat, and the reality that our culture’s concept of a celebratory meal revolves around the preferences of the dominant gender. Yep, you read that right. You’re eating steak on Valentine’s Day because of the patriarchy.
As crazy as this might sound, there is a lot of science that proves the existence of social and psychological connections between meat-eating and old-school concepts of masculinity. For example:*
A 2010 study found that both men and women perceive people who eat meat as more masculine than those who don’t.
A 2018 study found that men who perceived vegetarianism as feminine preferred meat-based dishes for themselves and expected their female partners to choose vegetarian dishes.
A 2019 study found that men may play up their preference for meat in an attempt to restore their sense of masculinity when it feels threatened.
A 2021 study found that there is no difference in meat consumption among infants or young children, but a gap between male and female children emerges around puberty and early adulthood, when children become aware of gender expectations.
A different 2021 study found that greater conformity to traditional gender roles predicted more frequent consumption of beef and chicken among men.
Members of the Meaty team have even seen gendered expectations arise within the steak options at butcher shops. Tenderloin, also known as filet mignon, has a reputation for being the “dantiest” of steaks thanks to its inoffensive mild flavor, non-confrontational round shape, lack of bone, and texture so soft it can be cut with a fork. These are the first steaks to sell for Mother’s Day, but one of the last steaks left in the case on Father’s Day, when people opt instead for 2.5-inch thick rib-eyes with extra-long bones. Coincidence? I think not.
Meat sexism isn’t just a man’s issue – women are equally as likely to hold outdated beliefs about gender roles, to judge others for their eating habits, and to discount their own true desires to align with societal expectations. A 2007 New York Times article titled, “Be Yourselves, Girls. Order the Rib-Eye'' chronicles the shift from women intentionally eating a light dinner on a date, “to portray oneself as dainty and ladylike,” to women ordering red meat to send a message that they are “unpretentious and down to earth and unneurotic,” as one woman put it. “Meat is strategy,” chosen to manipulate a date’s perception, rather than to satisfy an authentic desire. This behavior stems from an internalized sexist belief that women shouldn’t have any desires of their own, especially if they might offend the sensibilities of a man.
There’s no one person to blame for this frustrating situation, but we all can be a part of the solution. As the late great activist bell hooks said in her book, Feminism is for Everybody, “all of us, regardless of our assigned or chosen gender, have been socialized from birth on to accept sexist thought and action.” For most of us, that socialization included the idea that meat is inherently linked to manhood, power, virility, and dominance: in other words, to toxic masculinity. Particularly as Gen Z shows us new ways to relate to gender and relationship structures, we have the opportunity to look critically at how we ourselves perpetuate outdated notions of gender identity and food choices, and consciously choose different thoughts and actions. That’s why at Meaty, our all-female-identifying team (so far!) works hard to use inclusive language and make our meat-centric content fun and accessible for as many people as possible.
So the next time you second guess yourself before ordering a burger, make fun of a friend for ordering the salad, or defer to a partner over a meat decision because it’s “their department,” check yourself. Are you repeating tired narratives, or supporting authenticity in yourself and others? This Valentine’s Day, regardless of our physical bodies, our gender identities, and the people we love, we can make the radical choice to listen to ourselves, follow our pleasure, and eat whatever the hell we want. Go ahead… order the steak.
* It’s worth noting that with the exception of the July 2021 UCLA study, these studies were centered around the cisgender heterosexual perspective, and therefore the findings may not be applicable to populations with more diverse gender identities and sexual orientations.
